[7] My-awkward-Old-Lady-Moment

This is taken from my other Journal, dated September 23rd 2007

ANY movie that involves brief glimpses of Keira Knightley's nipples sounds good to me. Which is why I agreed to join my friend Scott and his grandma, for a trip to the cinema movie theatre today to watch Atonement.

Scott is really close to his Grandmas. I've met them both, and woah! - They are two very different people. There's Nanna Peg who drinks vodka for breakfast and corrupts young french boys on her holidays. And there's Nanna Rose, who is the dearest, sweetest little old lady you ever saw. Nanna Rose was the one accompanying us today.

She was on top form this afternoon, bombarding us with old-lady sweets, saying things like, "Gosh dearies, take your jackets off! Else you won't feel the benefit when you go outside!" and handing out cans of Ginger Beer like there's no tomorrow. (Who the fuck knew they still sold that stuff? I thought it only existed in Enid Blyton!) Classic dear old lady stuff.

So imagine my shock when not far into the movie, the word "CUNT" appears on the screen. CUNT. I'm sat there next to an 80 year old lady, and the most offensive word in the english language is glaring down at us. Can we say AWKWARD moment!?
You see, without giving too much away, - there's a bit in the movie, where the lead guy writes a note to the object of his affection saying, "In my dreams I kiss your cunt." And there it was, scrawled across the screen for Nanna Rose to view!!

I did NOT know where to look.

I was mortified, too paralysed to even breathe. Scott, who'd obviously thought "ooo a nice film about the 1930's, That's perfect for grandma!" was painfully cringing in his chair. I could see him out of the corner of my eye wanting to crawl into the crevice at the back of his seat and DIE. Fuck, we'd thought brought his grandma to a film involving sex, and CUNT. We'd subjected her to things she shouldn't know exist!! We were going to be responsible for giving her heart failure. We were bad people!

So imagine our distress when sensing our embaressment, Nanna Rose simply turns to us and casually exclaims, "Ooo It's been a long time since I got a note like that."

It echoed. And echoed. And echoed around the movie theatre. And I died. And died. And died.

I dont think I'll ever get over it. I am scarred for life dudes!! That is the last time I go anywhere with an 80 year old.

Anyway, THAT is My-awkward-old-lady-moment. LET'S HEAR YOURS!!!!! HAHAHA! :D

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